I got to chat with a good friend of mine about her journey. Here is the first installment of How I Got Over, a monthly series that highlights people of Color and how they got over. I believe that we all have the ability to rise above our past pain and trauma. I am interested in seeing how others got over as an inspiration, a bit of wisdom, and comfort.
KC: Okay so boom...Who are you at this very moment?
LS: I'm....figuring that out day by day. I thought I knew who I was beyond the roles I occupy, but WHEW the universe has shown me that I don't yet all the way know. i am, however, a mom, a wife, a friend, a sister, and a community builder.
KC: Totally understandable. It feels like a never-ending journey huh?
LS: Absolutely. it feels like once I've figured something out, 10 more things need to be unlearned or revisited. IT NEVER STOPS lol
KC: Are you who you thought you’d be? Why or Why not?
LS: When I look back to when I was a kid, thinking of who I'd be when I grew up.... I'd say I'm close. I knew I always wanted to be married and to be a mom, so that's worked in my favor. as a kid, I always thought I'd be a writer or a teacher, and well..............apparently I do both of those things, just not in a traditional way. I saw myself being a lot more confident in myself than I am at this moment, but that's a work in progress.
KC: Wow, you've achieved some of your goals, that's amazing. How do you teach and write? Sounds fulfilling.
LS: It's crazy, I never thought of being a mom and a wife as goals that I had, but.......I thought wrong LOL. They really were, and I know that being a family woman is part of what I was brought here to do. I look at myself as a teacher and writer in a non-traditional sense. With my forthcoming business/group Salve for Your Wound, I'm positioning myself as being a mediator of sorts...with a blog to boot. That'll give me the space to write about what I see fit as it relates to self-healing and healing collectively, and some of those blog posts will teach someone something, I'm sure. Eventually, I'd like to teach my own classes......about what, I'm not sure yet, but there's something brewing in the back of my head.
KC: Lauren, you are a true light. It's a blessing to not only know you but to hear your story. I like to think that we all rise above. Rise above past pain, trauma, and hurt through our light and darkness. So, how did you get over?
LS: The feeling is mutual, Ka'Lyn. I'd like to say that I just....got over, but I know that's not the truth. The negative things that shaped me the most were the sexual abuse I endured and the loss of 3 of the most important people in my life, all before the age of 16. It took until I was 30 (so just LAST YEAR) to be free of the shame and guilt that came with those things. It took a lot of turning the mirror inward...looking to see where I could and still can reclaim some of my power and take it back from those that sought to destroy me. It took the love of amazing women in my life to be safe spaces when I needed somewhere to land. It took the love of my now husband, who saw me through some of the darkest times in my life, and reminded me that I had everything I needed within myself to overcome absolutely anything life threw at me. And it took looking in my daughter's face - to know that I am leading her by my example, and she deserves to see her mother overcome and work with her darkness, rather than to pretend it doesn't exist.
KC: PROFOUND and so real. It really warms my heart to know that you use your daughter a guide in a way. Last question or statement or whatever lol. My blog is called You Are A Light because I believe that we have the power within ourselves to shine. So, share your light (quote, song, lyric, photo, memory,etc.)
I really do it all for my team. Us 3. And well...as soon as you asked that, the lyric "there are times...when you'll need someone...I will be by your side....there is a light, that shines...special for you and me..." popped into my head, so I'll go with that. I really do live by that with all my friends, my family, and the people in my group. I'll be there when you need me.
Lauren's message was quite powerful. How have you gotten over? Comment below!