Welcome to the #LIGHTSHOW


Compliments are my favorite gift to give. I enjoy making others smile by pointing out the things I admire about them. It can be their smile, style, resilience, intelligence and even their laugh. If I love it, more than likely, I will compliment it. I get joy from watching the light of others beam onto me and how their smiles radiate when I pay them a compliment. That genuine exchange is my favorite form of communication.

It’s so easy to find the good in others and compliment them but at times I find myself struggling to pay myself compliments. Often times we are so busy with the hustle and bustle of the day that we forget to pat ourselves on the back for our achievements. We forget to encourage ourselves and extend kindness.

I am extremely hard on myself, imposter syndrome always catches me slippin’.  I find myself doubting my worth and my work. We can be our worst critics, right? 

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This blog post is a little different, in that, it is a challenge to my readers. I want you all to give yourself the flowers.

Let me explain.

I call this the #LightShow challenge. What we are going to do will bring us so much joy, I promise. On December 1st I want you to write yourself a letter. Encourage yourself, motivate yourself, and pay yourself some damn compliments. In 30 days we will open our letters together. That day, December 31st, 2017, will be our #LightShow. We will shine our lights back onto ourselves so as we embark on 2018 we can illuminate our world. You don’t have to post your letter, you don’t have to even tell me you did it, I just think you deserve to get some flowers.

#LightShow is something that I have been testing on myself in the last 2 months. I started off with texts to myself, then I did emails, and now I, too, will be doing the letter challenge. It has made a world of difference on those days when I need a reminder of who the fuck I AM.

If you are on social media use the hashtag #LightShow when you want to give yourself some flowers. Self-Praise is the BEST praise. Word to @heyfranhey. I am so excited to radiate with you on December 31st, 2017. Let’s light this shit up and relish in our greatness, together!

Come shine with me!



It took me 7 days to figure out what to write about. Usually, I have my topics pre-planned but none of them felt right. None of them felt appropriate for this week. I found myself talking a lot about boundaries, friendship, and releasing over the weekend to multiple people. It was evident to me that many of us don’t set boundaries, especially in friendships. We allow ourselves to be a martyr for the sake of friendship.

I vote no.

Boundaries are essential to our everyday life. We need them in order to protect ourselves.

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Therapists, healers, “the friend that’s always there”, all need boundaries for those they interact with.

Shit, we all need to set them.

When we don’t set boundaries we find ourselves in situations that really aren’t for us. We find ourselves being used or grouped into traumas that are not our own. We don’t deserve that. We also find ourselves giving so much without receiving that we become resentful. We don’t deserve that either.  

I battled for most of my life with setting boundaries. I have found myself being put in compromising situations just for the sake of “being supportive”. I’ll be damned. It took me years of being burned out, secretly resentful, embarrassed and hurt to realize that I am not a martyr. I am not a mother to all. I am not a savior,

I realized, through therapy, that boundaries are important because without them you may become codependent on helping others….which can be manipulative in a way.

My boundaries change from person to person but the overarching "theme" (if you will) is "distance" and not being a "martyr". It hurt at first to set boundaries but I started small. I made myself more available to me than others. I made it clear when I didn’t want to or didn’t have time to do something. “No” became my favorite word. I ended friendships that no longer served me or that were attached to not-so-good people. I stopped going places I didn't want to go, this included family gatherings too. 

I still struggle sometimes with boundaries when it comes to meeting new people but I am working harder on discernment and really allowing my inner compass to guide me. If I get a weird feeling about something or someone, it’s a hard stop for me now.

We don’t have to be everything for everybody. We never will be, so we have to stop trying. The only person we can be present for in that capacity is ourselves and even then we need boundaries. I set boundaries for myself, too. I know that I can only drink a little before I find myself drinking too much. I know I have to set boundaries for the environments I allow myself to go to. I know I have to set boundaries for the people I am around so that I don’t end up triggered. We need boundaries for ourselves too.

As the year closes out, I encourage you to reevaluate your relationships. I encourage you to see if you are a martyr and lack boundaries. Are you constantly being disrespected? Are you finding yourself in far too many compromising situations? Dead that shit. Set those boundaries.

It will not be easy but it will save your life. I know boundaries saved mine. Don’t feel guilty if others don’t get it, it’s not for them, it’s for you.

Protect and preserve your energy.


Come shine with me!

Losing My Balance

Anxiety can be paralyzing for some of us. It can feel as if the world is closing in on us and we cannot break free. There are so many ways to manage anxiety on a daily basis and as someone who suffers from it greatly, I have had to work super close with my own therapist to figure out what works and doesn’t work.

My anxiety looks like heart palpitations, crying, self-deprecating thoughts, and blame. If you didn’t know, I suffer from Bipolar 2 and PTSD, so when my anxiety kicks in….it can make me feel as if I am losing it.

This week hasn't been the best for me mentally so I have had to tap into all of my "tools" to manage not only a depressive episode but the anxiety that follows rapidly behind it.

For the last 2 years, I have worked so hard to stay afloat. The journey hasn’t been easy and it’s not a race so there isn’t a “finish line” for me. Sometimes I want to stay in bed, not eat, shower, or even speak to anyone. Other days I want to scream, fight, cry, or disappear. These are just a few of the things I have felt. When I feel these things, I feel like I am losing my balance. I feel like I am outside of myself looking in at someone foreign. 

Managing my anxiety is a process and a lot of trial and error. It’s not #SelfCareSunday but I promised you all way before this blog (on Twitter) that I would do a post about anxiety and with the way the world is set up right now, shit….we all need it.

Don’t feel guilty for putting your mental health first.

Here are some ways I manage my anxiety:

Therapy - Therapy has helped me immensely and my therapist has been able to give me coping tools for when shit just ain’t sweet.

Aromatherapy- There are so many scents that can be used to elevate your mood or relax you when you are feeling anxious. Candles, incense, and even essential oils can relax you. The vibrational frequency of essential oils can clear your mind at rapid speed. You can put them in a diffuser or even get a bracelet or necklace to wear the scents. Spray bottles also help. 

Top 3: Rose,Lavender, Myrrh. For a complete list look into purchasing Essential Oils Natural Remedies: The Complete A-Z Reference of Essential Oils for Health and Healing or type in your ailment + essential oil blend on Google.

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Crystal healing - Crystals also have healing properties. You can meditate with them, wear them, or keep them around to help with your anxiety.  Here are some I use for healing my own anxiety and depression.


Music - Creating playlists with soothing sounds, favorite songs, or songs that can change your mood are great for anxiety. I have a few, if you all are interested, I can post them on my Twitter page. (Comment below)

Meditation & Yoga- Both of these allow you to center yourself and be as present as possible. There are so many different types of practices on Youtube or apps for your phone like Insight Timer. I created a short Youtube playlist of some that help me.

Affirmations - Affirmations can be super helpful in times of stress. If you are online as often as I am or use your phone frequently, there are a few ways to find affirmations daily. Shine Text is a great FREE tool that sends you daily inspirational texts. Their twitter page is also padded with awesome uplifting things. Another person I follow who posts daily affirmations is @forevermines, her page is such a breath of fresh air and I can always refer back to it for some affirmations. 

There are so many other ways to manage anxiety outside of the 6 listed above. What are some ways that you manage your anxiety? My therapist always tells me that anxiety is fear. I will continue to work hard to make sure that I don't let fear cause me to feel anxious. I hope you will try to do the same.


Come shine with me!

DIY #SelfCareSunday


I hope this week has been just as beautiful as you are. To get you through the next week, here's a #SelfCareSunday tip that I like to use.


This week I decided to make my own rose water for the first time. I usually stay away from DIY projects because they never come out the "right" way but I took a chance. I saw a video a while ago where Princess Nokia, a rapper from NY, made her own rose water.  I remember watching that video and thinking "damn, that seems therapeutic". This same video appeared on my twitter feed this week and that was all the confirmation I needed. 

It was very easy to make. I will list the directions below. The entire process was beautiful from start to finish. With each Rose I said "thank you for your love, beauty, and compassion" and as I put them into the water I said it again. I wrote a small note, dressed it with Heart Chakra oil, and set the rose water out under the full moon (my own extraness). I also put a rose quartz on top of the container as it brewed naturally overnight. The next morning I bottled it in mason jars with a little Florida water, petals, and some more 'thank yous'. It was such a peaceful experience and might I add, it smells GREAT! 

Here is how I made it:

  1. Picked roses (I got mine from a local nursery)
  2. Boiled Water (I boiled filter water just to be on the safe side)
  3. Ripped them up and put them into a giant glass mason jar (it doubles as a sangria container ;-) )
  4. Poured the boiling water in
  5. Let it sit overnight 
  6. Next day -- strain it, 1/4 Florida Water and 3/4 Rose Water 

*you can store it in the fridge for a few months or so (according to Pinterest)

Let me know if you make it or if you have made your own version. I would love to know! I hope you take the time this week to make something that requires patience, love, and compassion. 





I often listen to audiobooks on my morning commute to work. Most of these selections are considered new age, enlightenment, or even self-help. One book, in particular, The Power of Now, has been resonating with me more now than it did when I first read it, chapter 8 specifically. Eckhart Tolle talks about relationships in a way that not only made my head spin but also made me evaluate my own marriage & how I interact with my husband. Tolle also made me think about past relationships with lovers and even friends and how they panned out.

He talks about Salvation, which is a word I used to tie to Christianity solely. When seeking love or seeking refuge we sometimes believe that another person will be that redemption for us. That way of thinking can make us become obsessive and set expectations that are irrational. We have all been there before, chasing unrequited love in hope for salvation or settling for anyone as a friend or lover just to say we have a “person”.

I had a talk with my husband a few days ago about my real thoughts prior to marriage. We talked about societal pressures and confusion. I expressed how I felt like it was the “thing to do” in order to be whole, he felt the same. We then talked about where we are now, a year later, and how as we both go through the journey alone yet together, we can see that we are whole persons and that we do not “complete” each other. That idea of “completion” puts pressures on someone to be “everything” to one person and that is an unrealistic and irrational task. I realize now that the reasons for our marriage were immature but luckily those reasons have drastically changed.

My healing journey sparked the curiosity in my husband.  He knows that I cannot be his salvation and I realize that he cannot be mine.

Salvation is not elsewhere in place or time. It is here and now. - Eckhart Tolle


We are both blossoming in our own ways. I am learning who I am as a woman, who is queer, and married to a man and what it means to be present in salvation. He is learning who he is as a man, with a queer wife,  and what it means to be present in salvation. We are learning to continue finding refuge in the present and redemption in ourselves. From that we can bring transformation into our marriage without trying to transform each other based on our own egotistical agendas.


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Often times I get asked about marriage, love, relationships and I tell people constantly that your love for yourself reigns supreme. In order to blossom you must nurture yourself. Relationships are nice but how are you as a partner to yourself? That is more important, in my opinion.

How you treat yourself is important. It is one of the most important themes of life. How you love yourself is important. Do you treat yourself with the love and compassion you give others? Are you seeking refuge in things and people?

Shit, I know I have and I know I will again and again but I also know that I will gently remind myself that my refuge is within me. We all deserve to find redemption in ourselves, even if it is a lifelong journey.


Have you read The Power of Now? If so, did you like it? I would love to hear your thoughts! Comment below!

Come shine with me!

Gratefulness #SelfCareSunday


I hope this week has been just as beautiful as you are. To get you through the next week, here's a #SelfCareSunday tip that I like to use.

I am grateful for.... The cool air when I breathe in, Rose Water, my phone.

I am grateful for.... The cool air when I breathe in, Rose Water, my phone.

Being grateful can be difficult when times get hard or when you are just having a bad moment. To bring myself out of my own funk gently, I use a gratefulness journal. In this journal, I write 3 things I am grateful for. They can range from running water, my eyes or flamin' hot cheetos. I do this whenever I feel a little off or just as a reminder. Carry this notebook with you or use the notes section on your phone for convenience. 

Writing down what you're grateful for can bring things into perspective. It can elevate your mood. It can ground you. 
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A Trip Around the Sun

A photo from my last trip to a park before my Solar Return. It was so beautiful. I can't wait to experience parks in the Fall months.  (Louise F Cosca Park - Waldorf, Maryland) 

A photo from my last trip to a park before my Solar Return. It was so beautiful. I can't wait to experience parks in the Fall months.  (Louise F Cosca Park - Waldorf, Maryland) 


Birthdays have always been super important to me. I always celebrate the birth of others as if it was my own. Seeing people make it through another trip around the sun brings me so much joy because many of us deal with things that could have killed us.

For my 27th solar return, I felt a switch. Something in me, as it got closer, became more aware, compassionate, graceful, and gentle. Something in me became more peaceful, expressive, calm, and reflective. Something in me changed.

I did a soul healing while in Charlotte for my birthday. It began with a foot soak and ended with a meditation to open my heart chakra. During this particular meditation, I could feel my heart opening, activating, and inviting love in while releasing love out.

Leading my life with love, compassion, and grace was my only goal for my 26th trip around the sun and for my 27th I want to allow that love, compassion, and grace to glow.
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This year for my trip around the sun, I am doing something different,  I am setting goals that feed my soul and spirit.

  1. Be Present - Often times I preach being present to others but I forget to do it for myself. For this trip I will continue to focus on the now and not the past or the future.

  2. Speak freely and let my words thump- When we speak we may say things that drop little stones but for this trip I want my words to thump when they hit. I want them to stick, to be intentional, to be powered by higher vibrations and love.

  3. Use sex as a tool and not just an outlet - Studying Sex Magick and Tantra has completely changed my views on what sex is and what sex can do. For this trip around the sun I want to put my studies in motion and practice more intentional sex acts and healings. I also want to provide others with the knowledge and resources to work through their sexual wounds or traumas.

  4. Take care of my physical body- I was so focused during my 26th trip around the sun on taking care of my mind that I forgot to take care of my body. I want to use this trip to create an apothecary in my home and to find remedies for my autoimmune disease & other ailments. I want to be gentle with my body like I am with my mind.

  5. Jump with no fear- I can be quite methodical and tedious in my planning. For this trip around the sun, I want to take the leaps off the cliff of fear and achieve my wildest dreams. I cannot keep hanging off the cliff with one hand, I must let go, fly, and allow my light to guide me.

These are my 5 "soul goals" for this trip around the sun. We all have goals and aspirations but which will feed and serve your soul and spirit? Which will provide you inner peace and push you to lead your life with love?

Comment, email, or tweet me with some of your own "soul goals" for your solar return or just in general. We don't have to wait for a new year of life or a new year to set "soul goals". Start today.

Our “glow up” isn’t a destination it’s an ongoing exploration of who we can become and become again and again in different ways. We take many trips around the sun, let’s make them intentional. Let’s make them self-serving for once.

One of my friends gave me a great idea of sharing some of my self-care tips. So every sunday I will be posting a blog post with a self-care tip. If there is anything you want me to write about, let me know!


Come shine with me!

Into the Darkness


I took a mental health day, wore all white, went to a garden & did the work. I am three parts: love, light, and darkness. I embrace my shadow.


We are expected, by some, to live our lives in a way that only focuses on the positive things. Everything is “love & light” or rainbows & sunshine but what about darkness? Light and darkness exist because of each other. One does not exist without the other.

Our darkness is just as important as our light. Our darkness contains the things we dislike in others as a reflection of ourselves, our shameful desires, the things that make us tick. That darkness is our shadow.  

I have been working recently to embrace my shadow. According to Carl Jung and many others, our shadow side is the part of ourselves we don’t identify with. It is our dark side.

I was watching my usual monthly tarotscope and @_spiritualsiren mentioned shadow work for Virgo this month (my moon sign). How timely is that? All the signs to get shit done were definitely aligning for me. 

I would say I was a helpful person who uses their own resources to help others flourish. I love to be there for people and make them feel good. These are some of the good things. These are the things I used to use to describe myself to others negating the things that would be jarring or upsetting.

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My dark side is vast but some of the things that I have been working through are opposite of what I say of myself. I can be manipulative, smothering, detached (fickle), and someone who gives people just enough to feel important for the moment. I can make others feel like they are the one when they are the one of many. These are a few things I tried to ignore.

Shadow work is just that, work. It is hard, exposing, grueling, and sometimes draining. It can leave you feeling shitty and even like a terrible person but the work has to be done. In order to be your full self, you have to recognize the light as well as the darkness. You have to take that “mirror” I am always referring to and shatter it to see what lies behind it. You have to be vulnerable with yourself.

There are several ways to do the shadow work and everyone will have their own method. You know that I am a firm believer in tailoring your healing practices to your own lifestyle. To help encourage you and maybe provide guidance, here is what I do to get down to the dark side.

I read an article recently that talked about 4 steps to shadow work. It suggested that we do 4 things to identify our shadow and work through it. Recognize, reverberate, reintegrate, repeat.

We must recognize what we dislike in someone, make a list, identify the similarities, repeat the process with each person you meet.

I did this on Saturday after talking with a friend about my own nuances. I went on a nature trail and with each step, I listed things I liked/didn’t like about them. I then thought of instances where I had embodied those qualities myself, and then I identified those parts of my shadow, accepted them, and released (through meditation).

Another way I have done shadow work is by journaling in a list format. I will write two lists. One contains positive and one contains things I don’t like. I then process each, good and bad, and see how they are both needed to exist. I do this in order to stop myself from projecting onto others what I don’t like about myself.

I found a really awesome resource that gives 6 different ways to do shadow work. I have tried them all and I believe they are extremely helpful and easy to follow.

I don’t want you to think this will be a breeze because it will not. What I can say is that it will help you react to things differently, gain clarity, and accept that you are both lightness and darkness without feeling ashamed.

Are you ready to do the work? You deserve to be your best self even when things aren’t rainbows and butterflies. You deserve to be yourself. You deserve to just BE.


Come shine with me!

Sex·u·al·i·ty and Spir·it·u·al·i·ty

Photo from my sister studying abroad in Paris. 

Photo from my sister studying abroad in Paris. 


I am spiritual, yes, but I am also sexual. I am a woman who is attracted to the inner workings of others, not just what they present on the outside, no matter the “classification”.

So when I think about what it means to be a sexual being and what sexuality is I cannot see it in terms of just physical. I see it in terms of purely spiritual now. I am looking at this from an aspect of what serves the spirit, intellect, and your sexual desires.

We are sexual beings and sometimes physical attraction can supersede your best judgment. Being self-aware makes it difficult to give into those ideas about sex that used to drive you.  Spirit/soul, whatever you call it, is genderless. It is a compilation of everything but gender. Every person has both masculine and feminine energy in them which is what their spirit may present. For a lack of better words, the spirit wants what serves it.

As you go through your journey and begin to heal those parts of you that determined how you looked at sex and relationships, you will see that although someone is highly attractive, if it doesn’t feed that spirit, then it stops at the attraction.


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It is nearly impossible to force yourself to be attracted to what doesn’t serve you when you are on your path to ascension. Your body will not experience arousal the same. Physical touch will not feel as heightened unless your spirit is moved. It will be difficult to fuck dummies. I am being quite frank here but people will not be able to lure you in by just their outer appearance.


I am not saying that you will only be sexually aroused by someone you love but I am saying that your arousal will come from the spirit to the flesh. Discernment is the key here. Use your light to figure out what serves your sexual urges.


I have a task for you all this week that may or may not push boundaries. I encourage you all to try intentional masturbation.


Here is my take on what it is and how it works:

Intentional masturbation is something that I roughly coined myself. I am not the first person to think of it, I am sure, but I stand by it. It is setting intentions prior to arousal and manifesting during orgasm. It involves setting the mood. Scents are super important. If you are prone to nervousness when masturbating, I suggest lavender for it’s calming factors. Once you begin your session focus on how your body feels and listen to it. When you are about to climax, stop. Mimic the concept of edging. As you begin to edge allow your intentions to come back and as you climax release that intention.


I believe this form of arousal allows you to fully be in tune with what your body wants while also being in tune with what the spirit wants. The climax allows you to release not only physically but spiritually which provides a natural high feeling.

I used this method a lot during the healing process of my sacral chakra and heart chakra. It helped me do a lot of healing. Most of my intentions were centered about sexuality, trauma, and releasing what no longer served me.

I suggest this to most of my clients because it can promote clear and healthy decisions, especially sexually.

What are your thoughts on spiritual vs physical attraction? Do you feel like you can differentiate between the two? Comment below, tweet me, or email me your thoughts.


I want us all to have better sex with people who serve our spirits.


Come shine with me! 

*I am doing a birthday giveaway. Here are the rules.

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Go Outside


Being self-aware is bittersweet.  Sweet because you get to grow and evolve, change your school of thought, and really understand whom you are. Bitter because shit ain’t always love & light, rainbows & butterflies, or easy.

The journey to being self-aware is exhausting & exposing. It can seem like you can’t catch a break. The healing journey never ends and that is what makes being self-aware so important. Being self-aware allows you to look at yourself in a mirror and be honest. It pushes you to think through things and to be able to identify your triggers. Being self-aware allows you to reach a higher consciousness of who you are.

Over the last few weeks, the word “baggage” kept coming up. I was involved in situations where others projected their own problems onto me and attempted to leave their problems at my feet. In the words of the late great Mac Dre, it is “not my job” to deal with your problems in that capacity. These bags that we carry around prevent us from reaching that level of self-awareness that is important to grow.  They prevent us from moving forward.

I had a shit ton of bags on me. I had bags full of horrible things that happened to me and things that I had done that I wasn’t so proud. I projected those emotions and that pain onto others and out into the world. I was not self-aware because I was not doing the work to work through my past problems. I was simply ignoring them and allowing them to tell me who I was.

 My self-awareness stemmed from a few things ­– therapy, healing sessions, crystal healing, oracle/tarot readings, and exhaustion. I was tired of carrying not only those bags but also the burdens that came with having them. I wanted to feel lighter and be able to find my own inner peace & happiness.

Now, I am self-aware. It is an everyday process but I have my “toolkit” to keep me in check. I revisit old journal writings and see where I have grown. I listen to certain songs to see what emotions they provoke and dissect the memories attached to them.  When I feel myself getting anxious about the past I talk myself through it with questions like “why do you feel this way?”, “What does anxiety feel like right now?”, “What does your breathing feel like?”, “What sounds do you hear/what do you see?” in order to ground me. The biggest self-check tool is paying attention to how I handle things. Am I being reactive in a way that does not serve me? Am I approaching the situation with grace? Those two questions let me know if I am embodying old habits or embracing new ways of thinking.

Grace is what keeps me from projecting past pain onto others. Grace is what guides me through my day-to-day interactions with others. Compassion also assists in how I handle myself and how I embrace those around me.

Self-awareness is about reaching a point where you can look in the mirror and say,  “this is who I am and that’s okay”.  It is reaching the highest form of you. It is self-love in my opinion.

This past Sunday I went on a nature hike at Rock Creek Park and I sat by a body of water. I sat and I talked and I listened. I took in the sounds around me, I studied the way the water moved, I even acknowledged the way my body felt in that element.  Here are some photos from that hike.


I encourage you to shine your light in nature this week. Find a park, trail, or sit on your front steps. Take a journal or your notes section in your phone and identify what you see, feel, hear, etc. Identify what parts of your surrounding align with who you are. Does the sound of cars passing remind you of how busy you are? Can you hear the tree leaves moving? Take the time to go outside and inhale the fresh air.

If you decide to do this, tell me about it in the comments below, on twitter, or via email. I would love to see photos and hear about your experience.



Come shine with me!

a time to release and a time to heal

Writing has been an outlet for me for most of my life. I wrote because of sadness but never from a place of happiness. When I would be in a good mood, I had no words. 

My stories were heavy, introspective, and exposing but all created some form of release. My stories allowed me to express my deepest secrets in a way that made me feel free, but only for a minute. 

Once the story is told and the world knows my side of the story, I had to ask myself "what now?"  I believed that my stories would act as a supplement to my therapy and that was the only way that I could heal. I was wrong.

This blog is not a blog of my stories. This blog is not a blog of my pain. This blog is a chronicling of my healing and that healing is my gift to the world.

I chose this exact day and time to launch because the New Moon in Virgo is the time to heal for me. My journey continues. Healing is a never ending journey and my hope is that through this blog I can help others heal.

As I heal, I will heal others. As I shine, others will shine with me. 

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I will be using this space to discuss my own healing process, along with the processes of others I trust. This space will be honest and forthright. It will be just as transparent as I am. If you have a topic that you want me to write about feel free to send it to me here. You can also message me here if you want chat. 

Blog posts will go up every wednesday to illuminate our week. 

Come shine with me.